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One Bad Apple |
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She awoke with a yawning stretch as a warm morning breeze stroked her face with sunlight through the roof of oak leaves above. She savored the waking sounds and smells of nature as well as falling asleep to gentle symphonies of gurgling river, operatic birdsongs, the bass line of bullfrogs and rhythmic crickets. As she sat up her husband awoke. "Where are you going this early?" he asked as she stood. "To the river. I’ll be right back." "Not trout for breakfast again." He sighed and closed his eyes. "No silly man. I just want to wash the sleep from my face and do something with my hair." "Why? Your hair looks fine to me. All of you looks fine to me." He flashed pearly whites in a familiar "you know what I mean" grin. "You are such a male." She smiled back. He leaned on his elbow, watching as she walked away. He had never seen such a beautiful creature. He was so blessed to have her in his life. Even if it meant sleeping out here close to the river once in a while to make her happy- well it was worth it. "Hurry back." he crooned. She stooped to pick up a small stick and hurled it in his direction, missing him by a mile but surprising a small brown rabbit. She laughed and sashayed on her way. When she was out of sight he tried to doze but kept thinking about tomorrow’s inventory. It would surely take forever. A short time later his wife returned excited and wet. Water dripped from her hair onto his face. He jolted to reality and could instantly sense her elation. "What’s
going on?" he asked and smacked at sticky morning mouth. "What is this?" "It’s breakfast, it’s fruit." "I can see that, but where did you get it?" "Some guy down by the river gave it to me." "What guy? I didn’t know there were any other guys around here." "Well, not an ordinary guy guy." "What does that mean? Or is this one of those times when I’m just supposed to know what you are thinking?" "Well, poor thing, he had no arms, or legs come to think of it. He looked kind of familiar, though." "Familiar? As in ‘some Joe on the street’ or as in ‘wanted poster’ familiar?" "There you go being silly again. Here try it. He promised it is sweeter than anything we have ever tasted." "Well, I’m not going to eat that." "Aren’t you hungry?" "Well, sure. But what if it’s poison?" "It’s not poison. It’s beautiful, just look at it." She cooed. "Good, then go display it next to all those other useless trinkets you collect while I whip up a manly breakfast." "Stop making fun of me." She pouted and her eyes began to glisten. "Hey, I’m sorry." He wrapped his arm around her. She stared at the fruit. Then without further hesitation bit a big chunk from it. She closed her eyes and chewed. "Mmm, this is wonderful" she said and held it out to her husband. "Pleeease? For me." He hesitated, tried to look away from her big blue eyes, couldn’t, then took it from her and tasted. "Wow, this is good. Where did you say he got this?" "Well, um, it came from some tree on the other side of the river- I think." "What?" His eyes widened with sudden revelation. "Not the one at the bottom of the valley. Please say it isn’t so." He leaped to his feet. "Hey!" his wife exclaimed. "You’re naked!" "What?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face. "Put some clothes on, for Pete’s sake." "What are clothes? And who is Pete? Seems to me our little piece of paradise is getting too crowded lately." "Oh, just hurry before someone sees you." She pleaded. "By the way, I just noticed you’re, well…, you know." He pointed and she squealed in panic. "Besides, no one else is around this part of the garden but me and you and…" He turned an ear toward the path leading out of the woods. "Do you hear that? He’s coming. And He’s whistling a strange tune this morning- one I haven’t heard before. Ohh, this can’t be good. Quick, grab something and cover up." "Like what?" "I don’t know. Over there." He pointed to a vine bearing large leaves. "Get some of those and hurry. Let’s hide in that thicket and get dressed." "Get what?" "Oh, just come on." Soon they heard the familiar voice. "Adam? Eve? Where for art thou?" "Uhm…, we’re… over here, s-sir, your lordship." Adam stuttered. "And what would thou both be doing?" "Uhm…, hiding? Sir?" "Whyist art thouist…, uhhmhm, I mean, how come?" "Well, uh, you see it’s like this, we just don’t have a decent thing to wear." "I see. Well, enough said. Consider yourselves evicted, expelled, chucked out, sacked, homeless. As of now this park is officially closed. By the way," He snickered and tossed a pink flask into the bushes, "You’ll need this. The vines you’ve got holding up your skirts are poison ivy." |
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